I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
