My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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