I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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