Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
