Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
