He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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