I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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