Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I cut my penus on the lid.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
God, I missed his penis.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize