sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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