so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
