i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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