This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
