i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
