Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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