he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
