Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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