This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
