she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
