That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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