Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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