Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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