i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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