This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize