Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
