Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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