Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
