I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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