No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
