Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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