Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
