i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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