There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
