12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
is it fun? or sober?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
