Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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