I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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