i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
