He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
