i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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