I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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