'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
