Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
