i don't like sucking hair
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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