i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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