i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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