the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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