He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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