gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
