Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
