nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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