well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
