Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize