he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have already put on my inside pants.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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