Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I need water and some morals
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
