I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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