I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
