he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
