i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
