I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
as a side note pls kill me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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