is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
