You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You made out with two different species that night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
